THE HONEYMOON

Jana I visited a girlfriend of mine and we were having girl talk. She was sharing her experiences about how are ‘strange’ men are. As I listened to her, I could relate sooo well to what she was saying. At some point she would be telling me about some guy and Id stop her and ask “Who is this guy, what’s his name, what does he look like” and she would explain to me and ask if Id met him before and Id say I haven’t but he sounds so much like someone I know. We realized what has long already been discovered by scientists. That all men are indeed the same with different faces so we can tell them apart.

Let me give an example, lets call this chic Sally and the guy Harry. So Sally meets Harry through a social networking website on the internet. Sally wasn’t sure of what Harry would think of her. They had only exchanged photos via email but Sally was pleasantly surprised when she met Harry physically, at a local restaurant. He looked so much better than in the photo. He was tall, handsome, intelligent and funny. The ‘perfect’ guy. They talked about a lot of stuff; life, career, sex, etc. After they had chatted for a while Harry told Sally that he thought she was beautiful, sexy, intelligent and a go-getter and he really liked that. He said it’s really hard to find one woman with all those qualities. You should have seen Sally blushing! Of course she thought he was just flirting but he kept saying it over and over again, and telling her how attracted he was to her and she started believing it. And she could feel the really strong chemistry that had built up between them. Sally likes it when a man is attracted to her like that, it means the sex is gonna be very good.

The sex was was explosive! Every other minute, he would discover something else that he liked about her and he would gasp in awe. Her skin is so smooth, her hands are so soft, she is a good kisser, her boobs are big and nice just the way he likes them, her bum is nice and firm, her pussy is so tight. This was music to Sally’s ear. Every time he would whisper a complement in her ear she would moan with pleasure. She reached heights she hadn’t in a long while that night. She lost count of the orgasms that she had had. After the sex he held her in his arms and told her how much he had enjoyed it, and asked her where she had been all his life. She was exactly what he had been looking for. He wanted a repeat of that night; he wanted her in his life. Sally just lay there, smiling, and thinking to herself what a wonderful guy Harry was! Finally, exactly what she needed. A guy who had all those qualities (refer to paragraph 2,) and was good in bed too! Jackpot!

So the days go by, and Harry and Sally meet a few other times and have some more explosive sex. Then slowly, Harry starts calling Sally less and less. Then he stops calling altogether and doesn’t pick or return her calls. When he does, he whispers that he is in a meeting or busy or held up but will call her back which he doesn’t. He doesn’t text her any more and doesn’t reply her texts. Suddenly, he is so busy, has errands to run and important issues to attend to. This is the same Harry who used to call Sally off the hook, text her late into the night, take her out to dinner at least twice a week and hang out with her some weekends.

The story replicates itself over and over again. Maybe a different woman, maybe a different man, but the same story. And all the Sallys out there are always left wondering whether they did or said something wrong. If maybe the sex was really bad and Harry just pretended to like it. Or if they said something to scare him (maybe they jokingly insinuated that they wanted to have his baby), Or if they came out as being too needy or emotional, or were they were starting to get ‘too attached’? Or maybe everything Harry had said about Sally , everything that he liked or loved about her, all that was a lie and Harry wasn’t into Sally after all. Or maybe Harry had found another Sally. Maybe if she hadn’t slept with him so soon after meeting him, he would have hung around a bit longer. Maybe she should have kept flirting and leading him on instead of giving it up and having him lose interest in her. Sally wishes she could meet Harry again and ask him all these questions. She wants closure, she wants to move on, but first she needs to know where she went wrong because she is tired of playing games. She has to let go of this Harry, next time she wont be so gullible. But you know Harrys, they have all kinds of tricks in their bags, just waiting to pull them out and it won’t be long before Sally falls for another Harry again.

I call that duration when the guy is a perfect gentleman “The Honeymoon”. Coz you know honeymoons don’t last forever. Sally and Harry’s honeymoon has ended. Sometime it takes a week, sometimes a month or two but eventually it comes to an end. Maybe Harry will call Sally once every three weeks or a month when he gets horny, maybe they will even have sex, but it’s not the same. It will never be the same again. But the ‘funniest’ Harry is the one who disappears then comes back with a very lame excuse like “Ive been in Southern Sudan all this time” and expects Sally to take him back. Until the next time he disappears to Mogadishu without a word!

Men say women are complicated and difficult to understand, but if you ask me, they are the complicated ones. So Im asking all men today, on behalf of myself and all the ‘Sallys’ out there, “WTF happens??? What DO you want? Why do you pull a Houdini on Sallys without as much as an explanation? Why the honeymoon phase, why don’t you just be a bad boy instead of putting up that gentleman act???” We want answers. Be man enough to give them to us.