Friday 27 May 2011

LET THERE BE ZEGZ!!!

Hey guys, sorry I went AWOL on you. Been busy as hell at work, plus tumefungua shule. Its a little hectic but Ill try and keep up.


Im naked in a bed, in my room in some hotel in Nakuru about to wank to some tranny porn. Its a bit cold. I havent had zegz in a little over 2 weeks and Im not amused about it. See this guy called Nash, (I dont even know what Nash is short for and I dont even know his name), gave me the most wickedest cunnilingus Ive had in recent times. That is a great thing! Problem is I only like Nash when his mouth is in between my legs or his dick is in my pussy.The moment he opens his mouth to talk I just get pissed off. He is so ANNOYING!!! First off, he thinks just because we had zegz, he can tell me who to hang out with, who to dance with in the club, who to smile at, who to flirt with so he keeps sulking at me coz he doesnt want me doing this or that. Secondly I dont like his friends, at all!!! Slimy bastards have the nerve to ask me to ditch their pal just minutes after they've been introduced to me? NKT!! Ive already slapped one of them and punched the other. 


Then things came to a head when Nash annoyed me while we were out partying some two weeks ago. His pal who was with his girlfriend started winking at me and nudging me with his foot under the table. What is it with you people!! Then Nash said something that annoyed me so I slapped him and stormed out of the club (hee, at this rate I think I need to attend an anger management class). I told myself Ill never call him again.Soon enough the horniness struck and I tried browsing through my phonebook but there were no available zegzmates. For some reason, everyone was either busy or out of town so I decided to eat humble pie and called Nash. He refused to pick my call. I kept calling ad calling, incessantly. Finally I texted him and asked him to pick up the phone. He texted back to tell me "Call during working hours, this is my family time" OUCH!! I kicked myself for having behaved in a manner likely to suggest that I was desperate. I deleted his messages and contacts from my phone book, and at some point I thought of 'punishing' him but I decided against it. Damn it!! I really really liked that cunnilingus!!! When he spreads those pussy lips apart and sucks on the ka-clit like a lollipop. Im so sure if he incorporated fingering, Id totally squirt. I was working towards that. :-( 


On Tuesday I was in meetings all day so when I got back to my desk I found several missed calls. When I called back the first number, I heard the Lords Prayer ringback tone (WTF!!) and I immediately knew that I should have kept his number in the phonebook so that I can know when he is the one calling and ignore his calls. "Hawayuni" he bursts out when he picks the call . Surely now who greets people like that except Erico of Churchill live??  "Hey Ive seen your missed call, kwani watsup? I thought you were spending time with your family?" I retort  "What are you talking about?" he said, feigning surprised "Well, you sent me a text telling me to call you during working hours and not when its your family time." I told him..He denied ever having sent such a text and went on to tell me how I had 'tupad' him sijui what not. Lakini men aki!! Hee! I told him I had to work and Id call him later so I hung up. Now this dude is soo full of nonsense yet he was given all those cunnilingual skills!!  I just wish I could take that talent of his and bestow it upon a guy I actually like. 


Im now on the prowl for a new zegzmate. There are a few pointers that aid in shorlisting. I know a man will be bad in bed if he:-


1) is a sloppy kisser.No matter how nice and sweet a guy is if he is a bad kisser, he will be and even worse lover. Make NO mistake about this one.


2) devours his food. Wah!!! Biggest turn off!! This guy once invited me for brunch. His teeth are spaced out like those scanty maize cobs, and he was wolfing his food I could see particles flying all over. Yuck!!! I couldnt wait for the brunch to be over!! Suffice to say, there was no bed and/or breakfast!! 


3) cant dance. No need to go sooo far trying to explain this one ,just look at chutis. Hehehe!!! 

4) does not turn me on. If there is no chemistry between us, then I dont like forcing zegz coz whenI do I end up regretting it. Plus some guys just make you feel unsexy when youre with them. Jerky behaviour just wont cut it.


5)gropes me in all the obvious cases. Its the first dance, or the first kiss so how do you go groping the DDs and the bum?? That indicates that he is probably very selfish in bed.



6) is untidy / unhygienic. Untacked shirt, reeking of sweat, uncombed hair.....eeew!! Im thinking lice in your pubic hair. Eew! eew!! eew!!

7) brags about his sexual prowess.100% of the men who brag about their prowess in bed are HORRIBLE in bed. It doesnt impress me at all!! 


This Friday, Im gonna step out in style and find me a man to zegz up my weekend. This dry spell shall not go on any longer than it needs to.



Have a zegzy day y'all!!



P.S. This was supposed to be a preamble to the tale I wanted to tell but i got carried away. So I save that tale for another day. 





7 comments:

  1. Now now Galis, how do you go on and leave us hanging like that? Especially on a Friday... You better make sure the next tale makes it up for it :-) Do have a zegzy weekend!

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  2. Hey Galis, missed reading your zegzy tales!Looking forward to your next tale,as alwez!Good luck on getting a zegzmate for the weekend!Have Fun

    Swish

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  3. Today, I have wanked like Eeeerrrm, 7 times plus. I have this bookmark on my phone with zegz-stories and I just can't help myself. Since I am also not getting some coming my way, I decided to take matters in my own hands and its not baaad! Just that Nimecum mpaka nikatoa tumaji.

    Sema Galis, wewe wacha kutushutua na majina kama AWOL. Imebidi nimegoogle. #blondness. Weokam bek!


    Jogoo here

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  4. You have been missed.. Your next story sure does sound like a winner, can't wait.

    Dry spell? I empathize. Two months n' counting...

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  5. Tranny porn? Hmm.. interesting

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  6. You are so spot on with men who brag about their sexual prowess.. they are usually so pathetic and thats' putting it mildly!!

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  7. men who brag about their sexual prowess are so so poor in bed. There is a "cock" in Media madness who brags so much and I can bet he is a one minute man.

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